Wow, what a Beltane! (very long)

This weekend was the big Beltane gathering out here. Wow. 350 people all camping together in a Forest. It wasn't till I got to talking with some of the others that I realized that this is not only my first Beltane here, but also the first time I've ever been to a large-scale pagan gathering like this. I never made it to Pan-Pagan in Indiana!
So, here’s how most of my weekend went….
I'd been feeling a bit icky all week, mainly allergies, I think. The usual scratchy throat and a bit of fever from being tired. But I wasn't gonna miss this event! I got all my stuff packed, loaded, and cooked in plenty of time to head out Friday to the campsite. It's only about half an hour away, but of course it feels like longer if you don't know quite where you're going! I found the area of the Cibola National Forest that we were going to be in, and the minute I hit the borders of the "Beltane Village", I could feel the energy shift. I found a spot to set up my tent, got registered and signed up for my volunteer shifts. It's been forever since I've used a dome tent, and this one was new to me, so that was an interesting exercise in itself. I hadn't had time to put it up in the backyard to test it, either. Luckily, everything worked fine, and the tent is big enough to stand up in. Of course, I'm still missing some of my usual camping amenities, but I had enough stuff to be comfortable for a weekend.
Off to explore the site, then, and it's a nice area. There's a sea of concrete with lots of concrete picnic tables, and people liked to gather there, but the main center of activity was the big clearing that served as the ritual area. The merchants area was close to where I'd camped, and there were clusters of campers all through the area we had. It was a bit odd not being able to have fires other than campstoves or propane, but under the circumstances it was wise. Despite all the snow over the winter, it has been a very dry spring, and there's a major wildfire going on about 20 miles south of where we were. Nobody's taking any chances!
Fortunately, propane was okay, so that's what we had for our Balefire. We dug a fire pit, laid in a rectangular burner (pipes w/holes) and covered it with rocks and lava rocks. I helped dig the hole and the trench for the hose that ran to the propane tank. When we lit it, it worked really well.
Friday evening was the Opening Ritual. It was neat to be in such a huge circle. After ritual, we got out the drums and instruments and such and gathered around the firepit for a Bardic Circle. I was still feeling icky, and already losing my voice, but I managed to get one song out before I lost it completely. I sang one of my originals, "Drummer Boy", and it was very well received, even without having my full voice. It was so cold that I couldn't get my fingers to work on my guitar, so I just sang it unaccompanied. For my second turn, I just played a tune on my tinwhistle.
After bardic, we got out the drums and the dancers showed up. How some of these gals were able to run around topless in that weather, I'll never know. Even if I'd been feeling 100 percent, I'd have been cold! Anyway, I eventually ended up joining the dancers in order to get closer to the fire and get warm. We passed around all sorts of drink, and I shared out the last remaining good meads from Indiana. It was my way of partying with all my friends in both places. It must have worked well, because I was certainly feeling no pain after a while. Then again, it might have been the brownies, too. Chocolate, mead, drumming, cute guys...oh, yeah, it's Beltane!!
My favorite lad had been there earlier in the day, but couldn't stay the weekend, darn the luck. At least I got to see him at all, because he said he'd just shown up on a lark! Thank you, Universe, for putting the idea in his head! We hung out a bit, and he had his guitar with him, so some of us ended up singing along while he played. That was awesome. Anyway, he'd left even before the opening ritual, so I was missing him, but having fun anyway.
One of the other drummers and I were getting along pretty well, even before he found out that I had bourbon to share. We'd hung out a bit at Ostara, too, talking music and such. Anyway, the circle was winding down, and when we stood up, we realized that we probably should have quit drinking a bit earlier than we had. He was in worse shape than I, so of course I had to make sure he got home safely. ;-) Okay, so I didn't know where his tent was...and he seemed to be quite disoriented...but after a slight detour, we found it and I left him safely tucked in. I headed back to my own tent after stopping back at the circle to make sure the fire was properly turned off.
One word for that night...COLD!!! I crawled into my bed fully dressed, covered my head and tried to get warm. I eventually fell asleep, then woke to find out that Mother Nature was going to add her own lovely twist to the weekend. Dammit, that wasn't supposed to start till Tuesday!! Grrrr.... Out of the relative warmth of the bed, out to the latrines, change clothes when I got back, back to bed. Feh. Oh, well, it'll keep me out of trouble, I guess. Dammit.
Saturday morning, I think I got up out of self-defense, just so I could go find a sunny spot to warm up in. I was surprised to find that even though I'd slept in my contact lenses, they weren't bugging me at all. A bit of saline in the eyes and good to go. The main ritual was set for noonish, and by then I was feeling thawed out. I had gone to the med tent in hopes of something to help me feel better, and had ended up with a mug of hot Gypsy Cold Care tea. It really helped, and the heat felt good on my raw throat. I still didn't have much voice, but at least I didn't feel as feverish. A bunch of us had already started drumming while the crew was digging the hole for the maypole. Four feet deep this year, so it wouldn't fall over. The pole is quite the piece of work. It's about 25 feet long or so, about 8 inches diameter at the base, tapering up to about 3 inch diameter where the wrought iron crown fits on. It's beautifully carved, with the bottom made to look like a phallus, and words spiraling around the shaft. The guy who brought it down from its storage place (on top of his pickup truck) said he got quite the reaction driving through town on the way....I can only imagine!
The ritual was really cool, a dramatization of a god and goddess searching in the four directions for wisdom from other deities about their purpose (of course, it's love...) and then they brought in the maypole. All the men went to fetch it, and they bore it into the circle with the outgoing May Queen riding atop it. The pole was crowned and set upright amidst great cheers. The winding of the pole was so much like the way we do it at Live Oak, not so much for the size of the group, but the way we still manage to make it look good in spite of the missteps in the dance. Kinda like life, I suppose. I did get up from my drum and weave a bit, and was in on the last wraps. Lots of good energy. Then the new May King and Queen were chosen. Couldn't happen to a nicer couple. (One of these years, maybe it'll be my lad and me....maybe.)
After ritual, the feast! Big potluck, mostly cooked ahead, but not all of it. They had split up the list of what to bring by Sign Elements. I'm a Fire Sign, so dessert....cookies, naturally. I think people were still noshing on leftovers till after dark! I took advantage of being warm and full-tummied, and headed back to my tent for a nice nap.
In the evening, we set up and lit the firepit for the Balefire. Another nice ritual, and then the fire jumping began. I managed to make a decent leap, I think, but I was really hurting by this time, so I went back to drumming and trying to stay warm. I actually had another fellow ask me to jump the fire with him! How about that? Here I am, a cold, painful, bleeding mess, and I've got somebody hitting on me? How the heck did that happen? I mean, this is me! Attention from two cute guys in one weekend??? Well, I hobbled up and we stepped over the fire, since I was really stiff from sitting. I explained my feeling icky, and he was quite understanding about it. I did get a nice backrub, though, and that helped a lot. I was able to stay out and drum a while longer, but by the time the dancing started in earnest after dark, I was just too dead to do anything, even after my nap. So I turned in early, all bundled up and with my hat on.
From what someone said Sunday morning, it got down to about 23 degrees F that night. No wonder I was cold! Thank the gods for hot pancakes and coffee for breakfast! After a couple cups of java, I actually got most of my voice back, too. It was a nice mellow morning, hanging out with folks, getting and giving lots of hugs and kisses.

Closing ritual at noon, then down comes the maypole. That was a lot of work, especially getting the rocks out that had been used to keep the pole steady in its hole. The ribbon ends had been trimmed off by then, and people were gathering them for souvenirs. I got some, and am going to send a piece up to my mountain lad, along with copies of the pics I took of the new King and Queen. The ribbon wrappings are removed from the pole in one piece, and the newly-crowned May Queen gets to keep them forever, holding that energy for the community during the coming year. Pretty neat.
After that, it was time to tear down and pack up. It didn't take me long, as I had already done a fair amount of prep work already. I helped some of the others, and spent a bit more time with my drummer friend from Friday night. Then back to the real world, and a Bubonicon Con-Com meeting. How's that for a mental shift?

So, there's my weekend in relatively short form. Of course, I'm not telling you everything! In spite of feeling like crap for a good portion of it, I did have a good time overall. There are other events coming up, and I'm looking forward to them, now that I'm feeling more a part of the community out here. I've made more friends, and that's always good. It reminds me of how I felt when I first found Live Oak. I'm finding a new home, and while I sure do miss the old home, it's good to be here.

My eyes hurt...

I don't know if it's the contact lenses, the dry weather, the wind, allergies or all of the above, but my eyes are bugging me a lot this week. Neither my glasses nor my contacts are the right prescription anymore, and I know that doesn't help. So I'll rest my eyes a bit by wearing my glasses for a couple of days, even though I end up taking them off when I'm working on the computers.
The most frustrating thing is that I'm having trouble focusing. I need the glasses or contacts to see far, but now neither do any good for anything within a couple of feet. I can manage, but it's blurry. The contacts are actually doing better for work, as I can adjust the computer there to be able to read it enough to work, and still see the rest of the room. But I can't read a book or write very well. With the glasses, I have almost the same problem, so do my close up work without them. I dread going to the eye doctor (whenever I can manage to do that) because I really am not mentally ready for bifocals! I also worry about things like glaucoma, since there's a bit of family history of it. I really hope I can get laser surgery someday, even if I still end up with reading glasses
The dry windy weather is really kicking in now. There are wildfire watches all across the state, and at least one big fire that's got people worried. Add in the pollen from who knows what's blooming right now, and it seems like everyone's sneezing these days. I'm drinking extra water, too, just to stay hydrated. Chapped lips are no fun at all!

Looking forward, I'm trying to get my act together for next weekend's Beltane campout. I'm working every day till then so I can get my hours in and still have the weekend off. I just got a tent given to me, and I have to see what condition it's in. Hope it's in good enough shape to get me through the weekend! I'm a bit nervous about going to a new event, but excited, too. I'm hoping a certain friend of mine will be there, but haven't heard anything (no surprise there). I just hope I can stay comfortable and have a good fun time.

Interesting side note: A year ago, at this time, I was on my vacation out here in NM, staying at the mountain home for the first time. Looking over the past year, I am stunned at the whirlwind I've been riding. I know the ride's far from over, too, but hopefully it will be a bit less hectic at some point! Just goes to show that you never can tell what's coming your way!

Best Ostara Evar! (long)

Apologies for the length of this post, and the possible "squee factor". I really had a better day than I'd dared to hope, and I am still energized.

Here's how my Ostara went today:

Got up this morning, glad to have the day off and be able to go to the Ostara gathering. I packed my feast basket with the homemade rolls for the potluck, got the shovels from the backyard, loaded up my drums and stuff. The shovels were for the tree-planting we were gonna do as part of the ritual.

Found Sunflower River easily enough, and pulled into the yard. This place is a small farm, really, now being rehabbed into a working farm again. Four people sharing the place, Alan, Kat, Jenny and Tristan. The same ones I’d met at the concert so long ago! Jenny’s the one who finally got me the info for the gathering, since she’s in ASFS as well.

People were arriving for a while, and one of the young guys from work even showed up with his folks. That was pretty funny, actually, especially as he usually doesn’t come out for circles. I was lighting and tending the fire, meeting people, having a good time, and got the urge to call Sandy. Talked to her for a few, then to Fred when he came in. That was cool.

After that, I headed back up toward the house for some reason, and stopped dead in my tracks. Lo and behold, there was Matti! I honestly did not expect him to come down for Ostara! We hugged and said hi, and I continued on into the house. Of course, I had to scoot out the other door and around the corner to immediately call Sandy back and tell her that he’d made it down…*grin*

Eventually, we all headed to the ‘ritual grove’ area, beyond the sheds and chicken coop, and gathered for ritual. The current May King and Queen presided, and it was very nice. We had bread and strawberries with mead or juice for libation, and then got divided up into seven teams to plant the new fruit trees for the farm. We’ll all get a share of the fruit eventually, whether it be as mead or desserts, too. Some of the people who weren’t up to the digging kept the chanting going while we worked. When the trees were all in, they were watered, and each team fed their tree some energy. We went back to the circle and closed things down, and headed back to the main yard. I put my shovels back in the truck, and walked with Matt over to the van while he was putting his away. We talked a bit about how things are up at the mountain home, and the possibility of pooling our resources for Beltane’s camping event. I went back to the house as he was getting his drum and guitar out and locking up. I really hope he didn’t see me step in the hole and fall on my face by the kitchen door… I wasn’t hurt, just embarrassed.

The food at our feast was very good, lots of variety. The fire I’d started was our cooking fire, and the firepit ring had a grill built into it. There was chicken and elk steak, Portobello mushrooms and eggplant. Add the salads, desserts and drinks, and we all ate very well. I had a tiny bite of chicken and a tiny bit of the elk, as they just smelled so good! I had some plum mead and a bottle of a wonderful Ginger Stout that Jamie had made.

After dinner, the drums and instruments started appearing from their hiding place in the yurt. I ended up sharing out some of my tinwhistles in an impromptu ‘petting zoo’, and a couple of people even tried the bodhran. Phoenix got his drums going, Matt joined in, and I moved over to play my little doumbek. A few other drums appeared, Alan had the didgeridoo out, and it just grew from there. It was a great jam, and I don’t know how long it lasted, really. We sang several songs, some of the other gals started dancing, it was just too cool. I’ve been waiting a year and a half for the chance to drum and sing with Matti, and I finally got it today. W00t! There truly is a groove that you get into when drumming and I was feeling it. The rhythms would change, and I was right there in perfect sync, not realizing it until seconds later. My kind of magic.

The sun was starting to sink when we packed up the drums, and people started saying their goodbyes. I got one more hug from Matt and sent him off with a hug for Mama, too. I stayed to help clean up and put things away, then headed home myself.

All day long, I had been having a good day, and thanking the gods that I had been able to go out. I managed to keep most of the energy either under control or grounded, but on the way home I had my music cranked, shouting my thanks to the Universe! I really needed a good day, and the good days are coming around more often than they used to. Sometimes I really can tell when things are “right”. Today was like that. Thanks for letting me share it.

A day off...did I get anything done?

Well, to be fair, I did get some things done. Not near as much as I'd have liked, but the day is only so long, y'know?
Since I was scheduled off for today, I do have to work Saturday. Bit of a bummer, that, as the Winterwolf SCA event is Saturday at UNM. I work 11:30-8, so it's not even worth trying to get to a day event like that.
Today I did my plasma donation, which takes about 2 hours or so including the wait time. Not bad, really, and I may have helped someone there get a job where I work. He was going to check it out, at least, and if he gets in and stays for 90 days, I'll get a reward, too! After that, I picked up a couple of Freecycle items I'd arranged for. I now have my very own Cibola HS Soccer t-shirt. I also got a bunch of homeopathic and dietary supplements to use and share. Stopped at Title Wave Books, where a couple of friends work, since I was in the area. Snagged a couple of free binders for work, even. A bit of lunch to follow, then off to the laundromat. I was running out of work-worthy clothes - I like to go for the upper end of the dress code when I can. Might help get brownie points and/or promotion in the future. A quick dinner at home, then I went down to the Guild Theater for this week's movie. Just got home from that a little while ago.
The movie this time was "The Rape of Europa", an excellent documentary from 2006 about the plundering and recovery of the great artworks of Europe during WWII. Fascinating, heartbreaking in spots, and very well done. I learned a lot from it, including the fact that there are still thousands of artworks that cannot be accounted for. There is hope that some may be found eventually. Work begun after the war is ongoing, especially with the frescoes of Pisa's Camposanto, and returning even small religious items to descendents of Holocaust victims. I have a new heroine, too. Her name is Rose Valland, and she single-handedly managed to keep an inventory of French artwork stolen by the Nazis and who it was stolen from. Nobody at the Jeu de Paume museum she worked at knew that she spoke German, and she memorized huge lists every day to write down at night. Amazing. She's in Wikipedia, btw, look her up.
So what didn't I get done? Garden stuff, mainly. I'm still trying to finish making notes from a book that needs to go back to the library. Gotta buy my own copy eventually. I need to get digging out back, finish measuring off areas...just all sorts of stuff. Maybe Sunday, I'm off then.
Work's going well, still a bit hectic when I come up with a situation I'm not sure how to handle, but there's always help handy. My team leader's cool, and the other TLs don't hesitate to help no matter who's asking. I'm encouraged.
I'll finish off by putting in a few pictures of my backyard so you can see "before", at least!

Finally sitting down for a few!

Let me recap...no, there's not enough time....let me sum up! ;-)

Saturday was a full day. My neighbor Roslee and I went to a free class on 'Edible Landscapes' at a local garden center. Way cool, lots of good info and resources. She bought us some books, and I got "The Permaculture Guide to Ferment and Human Nutrition" by Bill Mollison. Everything from pickles to sourdough to alcohols. I'm enjoying it immensely! After the talk, we went out to pick up a computer monitor from a freecycler. I got a desktop computer from another freecycler last week, and am working on getting it up and running. Anyway, the people with the monitor raise miniature horses, and give away the bagged manure! Awesome connection for gardening, so yay!
Back towards town, and we stopped at a little Italian restaurant for lunch. Very good food, we split an antipasto salad (I just picked the meat out), and I had Lasagna Napoli. The minestrone soup was excellent, especially as it was meatless also. We didn't have room for dessert after that, so my iced cappuccino filled that need. Next time, we'll just go for cannoli!
Home again, and out to the yard. I pulled out some more bricks and trash, and drew diagrams in the dirt for some ideas we have. A corner for relaxation and shady retreats, a fire pit, the masonry oven, things like that. It looks like the thorns I was finding are from goatheads, and as long as I can keep those from growing, then I can keep the yard barefoot-safe eventually. I still want to get a sledge hammer and do some heavier work, especially if I can get rid of the useless cinderblock bin in the back corner. If I can salvage the blocks, so much the better, because I can use them for part of the oven base.
Got the computer up and running, and with a wireless adapter, it's even online. Only one small problem. Literally, small...as in the harddrive is only 3 Gb! Can't even do a full WinXP install on it, because SP2 won't fit. It runs on basic XP for now, so that's cool. I don't see it taking over from the laptop, but it'll be a good backup. It's a P3/733 mHz, 640 mB of RAM, originally a Dell. Not bad. I'm glad to know that I haven't forgotten how to work on computers, too. By the time I got to that point, I was tired, and went to bed.
Today was housework. I did dishes, and swept & mopped the kitchen. Picked up the spare computer parts in the front room, too. I have another nearly bare case for a Celeron 366, and may turn that into a Linux box. Later today, I plan to walk down to the Guild Cinema to see the fully restored version of Blade Runner. Should be good!
Tomorrow's work schedule is a bit earlier, starting at 2 instead of 4. I should know by Tuesday what my real schedule is going to be. I'm hoping to get back on a daytime schedule. My days off won't be the same from week to week, nor will my hours be exactly the same day to day, but they give us our schedule in advance, so I can plan ahead. I do want to see if I can work 4x10 (four ten-hour shifts) and that will free up more time, too. As long as I can get time for the cons and events I want to do, I'll be fine with that.

If you want to see some "before" pics of the backyard, they're at http://s108.photobucket.com/albums/n4/hengle/ in the album 'My ABQ Digs'. I'll try to post more as things progress.

Second shift...what fun...

Believe me, I'm not really complaining. It's just taking a bit of adjustment time to get used to the schedule. And once I'm done with training, my schedule will change again.
So...I've been in training at work for two days. Monday was just orientation stuff, getting our badge pictures taken, a short tour, meeting the people in the class and basic company policy stuff. Last night we started getting into the real learning, like how to clock in on the computer, and customer service quality. If we keep going at this pace, the two weeks in class and one week of transition work should be plenty to get us up to speed. There's a lot to learn, and most of it seems to be which computer program to use for which need.
It's still hard to stay awake and alert through the whole shift, and by second break at 10 p.m., a lot of us are yawning. Too bad the coffee vending machine is a piece of crap. Several people have already gotten out the thermoses to bring their own coffee! I'm thinking that chocolate covered espresso beans are going to be a good thing to find, when I have some money. They're still better for me than soda or 'energy drinks'.
Anyway, it's sounding like this is going to be a good place to work. There's opportunity for overtime, promotions and advancement, unlike other places I've worked at. The company is big enough to have some decent benefits, and I hope this works out till I can get my other dreams off the ground.

It's official...I have work again.

I start Monday evening, working at an incoming call center. There's 3 weeks of paid training and then I get a regular schedule. For now, it's 2nd shift for the classes, and after that, who knows? Pay's decent enough, and I still have time to get a part-time job on top of it. I am still looking for other income sources, of course.
At least things are looking up a bit now. Hopefully, I'll be able to not only catch up but have enough to save up for "con season"!
I am very relieved.