Just thinking

Saturday morning, it's just about 9:00. I've been sitting in the cafe with my tea and a croissant, doing my online stuff before I go to work. I have to be there at 11, so there's a bit of time yet. Still need to go check the mailbox, too.
I'm tired and a bit fuzzy, mentally. Have to admit that it's hard to sleep well in the truck. The cats did settle down eventually, thank goodness. I'm considering getting a motel room for a night, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow night. I just hate to spend the money when I am so close to having enough for an apartment. Then again, if forty bucks makes that big a difference, then I'm better off waiting till this week's payday. I get paid from both jobs this week, and even though the HD check will be very small, it will help.
I think the most frustrating thing is to be so close to being perfectly fine, and just not quite getting there. I don't really need a handout or subsidy, just a bit of time to get things together. I've been through tough times before, and I'll get out again.
So I'm doing a lot of thinking about what I need to do, what I can do, and what I want to do. I do have options, although some of them are not to my liking. There are too many variables to wrap my mind around, sometimes. Plus, I'm torn between my usual need to be active and in control, and the realization that there are things I cannot control. Yeah, I know, what else is new?
Anyway, that's my state of mind right now. I'm trying to stay positive and calm, without lapsing into lethargy. Catch ya later!